Friends…
*cues music*
Friends, how many of us have them? I’m not just talking about any type of friend or having friends for the sake of it. How many of us have dependable, accountable, and attentive friends? Friends who check you when you’re wrong, support and encourage your dreams no matter how wild. Those that can make you laugh and make the worst of times feel like the world isn’t ending. If you do, that’s great! If not, I’ll take on that role for you!
Social media is awesome and exhausting all in the same breathe. In wake of everything happening in the world – cue the whole madness of 45’s “presidency and administration,” NFL protests, and this ludicrous suspensions over social media, i.e. ESPN’s Jemele Hill – we ALL need friends! Friends to help keep our mental health intact and encourage positivity daily when everything seems contradictory.
Reading and hearing so much about Jemele, I thought about support systems and friendships. With the backlash, I see how her co-host and friends, and social media are supporting her and her freedom of speech. But it made me think. Would I stand for my friends like this through adversity, high-proud moments, and everything between?
*STAND refers to supporting and being that beacon of light through ANY type of situation for your friend. Or the Google Dictionary states “withstand (an experience or test) without being damaged.”*
My Perspective
Friendships, a lot like a relationship, require time, growth, and communication. I can admit I have not always been that supportive and reliable friend to some. Communication played a HUGE part in that; I internalize, then verbalize, which is sometimes dangerous. If something made me upset, I would hold it in and be all worked up about it. I avoid conflict, which adds tension.
I have always, ALWAYS been sensitive to every little thing. I hated, and still hate, conflict and always want to avoid it. Now I understand the purpose of being blunt and how to still say it in a loving way. Within this new journey, I’m becoming more intentional and direct by saying and doing what needs to be done.
Since my devastating experience almost a year ago, I learned how much my friends play an important role. I needed and still need them more than ever. They stood for up and held me up daily. With that and God, I eventually pushed me up and out of that dark and depressing moment in my life.
I haven’t been through anything near close to what Jemele is going through. I understand her reasoning and why she has a great support system without even knowing her personally.
Quality is Better than Quantity
Quantity doesn’t matter, but quality does. You can have 15 friends and they can all be sucky. Get you a small group of women/men who can hold you accountable and vice versa. Talk about your dreams, bond, and build individual connections. I can depend on my friends for pretty much anything. They are supportive, honest, have to tell it like it is personas, show love, and have moxie.
While I do not talk to all of them every day, I know we still maintain that same friendship. And it’s important to play a part in their social life on social media, even if it’s silently.
I exist because I have friends. I survived because they were on my path.— Paulo Coelho (@paulocoelho) October 10, 2017
Questions to Ask Yourself and Friends
- Do you stand up for your friends in any situation, including when their actions seem questionable or mean well?
- Do you make time to check on their growth and mental health?
- Do you show up for them when needed the most?
- What could you do to become a better friend? (This is where the IMPORTANT communication comes into play!)
I’m still working on this, and I already am making ways to express my support and stance more. So SHOW UP, build an unbreakable bond, and always be supportive and attentive.
xo,
Alicia says
Love it! You definitely need friends. I am thankful for mines, they are my accountability partners, my praying/stand in the gap girls, my down for anything and will fight in a minute (I’m yet praying on that lol), will cry with me and love hard for me. I thank God every day for my strong support system. My girls are everything!
Jailyn says
Lol yess!